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1. To always speak the truth…except when to do so would injure another.
2. To talk health, happiness and prosperity to EVERYONE you meet.
3. To be so strong, that nothing can disturb your inner peace.
4. To be just as enthusiastic of anothers success as you are about your own.
5. To remember that God is in the pause.
6. To forgive the mistakes of your past and to strive to greater achievements in the future.
7. To never see failure…only opportunity. You are no longer a victim.
8. To have NO JUDGEMENTS of others…No matter what.
9. To live well and CHOOSE happiness. To say I can everyday.
10. To make an impact on the world. To help someone else achieve thier goals. To be love.
11. To remember your spirit and nourish it daily.
12. To remember these principles above individual personalities.
13. To always speak of myself in a kind, gentle, positive way. To be nice to me.

Progress not perfection. Willingness is key. And remember to laugh like the comedians in all of us!

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This entry was posted on Tuesday, August 11th, 2009 at 3pm and is filed under COLONY SPIRIT, Colony Pride, Friends, love, thank you. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. Both comments and pings are currently closed.

80 Responses to “MY JOURNEY DOCUMENTED. A WINDOW INTO MY LIFE.”

Heidi Says:
August 11th, 2009 at 3pm
http://i278.photobucket.com/albums/kk119/LuvWar/Hand-1.jpg

(( ANT))) For you, grab hold.. We all love you.

xo
Heidi Says:
August 11th, 2009 at 3pm
Just a shout out to the beautiful ladies with the most beautiful hearts and souls. xoxo
JPB Says:
August 11th, 2009 at 6pm
ANT, this will be a difficult month to get through but you will get through it. When you feel the need to reach for the bottle or the thought of needing drugs enters your mind, reach for the phone, reach for the camera, get out and take a walk or a drive.

As far as the AA meeting place, maybe it’s a sign that you need to look elsewhere, another location and time?

{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}
JPB Says:
August 11th, 2009 at 6pm
Heidi, I am so glad to see you. I am glad to be back home. Love to you and the other wonderful ladies here, and the gentlemen too.
Auntie T Says:
August 12th, 2009 at 9am
{{{ANT}}} Good Morning Sunshine….and Ladies too

I hope today is a little better than yesterday, but if it isn’t, someday soon you will have a day when you feel better than the day before.

I hope you’re able to find the meeting today. I’ll be thinking about you and sending good locating thoughts your way…I’ll be thinking about you *ALL* day

I better get to work. I had to take a detour 10 miles out of my way this morning to drop off the lasagnas I made over the weekend for my friend’s “Kidney Transplant Living Expenses While in Los Angeles for 3 Months Post-Transplant” Fundraiser this weekend so I’m starting my day at work already behind…before I even started. Oh well…I have my priorities, and this morning, that was more important.

I hope everyone has a good day.

ANT – I wish for you a tolerable day without too much physical or emotional pain. Loving you!!!

{{{hugs}}}
Auntie T Says:
August 12th, 2009 at 12pm
Day 3…

{{ANT}} I wish there was something I could do to help you feel better. The only thing I know to do right now is to be here for you…and stay here with you. If there is anything else I can do, just say the word.

I’m holding you close to my heart and sending you all of the strength and healing thoughts I can.

XOXO
{gentle hugs}
Heidi Says:
August 12th, 2009 at 1pm
Day 3….I’m here sending you strength , love, and soft gentle hug xo
Emjay Says:
August 13th, 2009 at 8am
I am dropping by the spa quick to send you POWER today!!!!!!!!!!!!
You HAVE POWER ANT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You can do this.
I know you can.
I love you, Emjay
Jennifer - JPB Says:
August 13th, 2009 at 2pm
I am making sure I stop in daily for you. One second at a time is a necessity sometimes.

Love!!
Heidi Says:
August 13th, 2009 at 2pm
Day 4 is almost over and I hope it was a better one. xoxo
Auntie T Says:
August 13th, 2009 at 3pm
I’m going to try this again. I posted earlier from work, but I couldn’t get it to go through.

{{{ANT}}}

I love the sound of “Day 4!” I’m impressed you are up and around, and out and about. You are stronger than you sometimes give yourself credit for.

I’m still sending hugs, and love, and strength 24/7…you made an appearance in my dreams last night…see, I’m even thinking about you while I’m asleep.

Loving you, forever!
XOXOXO
Auntie T Says:
August 14th, 2009 at 9am
{{{ANT}}}

Just stopping in to leave you a quick hug. I hope you’re feeling okay today.

XOXO
Auntie T Says:
August 14th, 2009 at 1pm
{{{ANT}}}

FIVE EFFIN’ DAYS! WHOO HOO!

I think you look great! I don’t see any additional chins.

Thanks for taking the time to check in with us. Now go eat something and get back in bed!

LOVING YOU!

XOXOXOXOXO
Heidi Says:
August 14th, 2009 at 2pm
DAY EFFIN 5!!! ..Sounds pretty good to me xo
Heidi Says:
August 14th, 2009 at 2pm
Happy Birthday Emjay…My Spa sistah! xoxo
Heidi Says:
August 14th, 2009 at 2pm
((( T ))) just because. xo
JPB Says:
August 14th, 2009 at 7pm
Happy B Day to Em Jay!!!!!! Yeah Day!!!
JPB Says:
August 14th, 2009 at 7pm
5 Days!!!! {{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}
JPB Says:
August 14th, 2009 at 7pm
Love to all. xoxo
Auntie T Says:
August 15th, 2009 at 7am
{{{ANT}}}

I hope you’re feeling a little better today and that you still have some of that energy you had yesterday.

I’m up early today so I can pick up a young friend (18) from his AA meeting, which has me thinking about you even more than usual…and sending extra strong doses of strength and love to you!

Hang in there….you’re doing great!

Hello Ladies! I feel badly that I’ve been running through here dropping off hugs and love for ANT and not letting you all know I’m doing the same for you! I hope everyone has a nice weekend!

{{{HUGS}}}
Heidi Says:
August 15th, 2009 at 6pm
Day 6 brought tears to my eyes…In a good way xoxo What a nice video to watch as this Saturday evening comes to a close.

( it’s 10:17pm)
Auntie T Says:
August 16th, 2009 at 11am
{{{ANT}}}

Happy Sunday! I hope you slept well and are continuing to feel better each day.

Loving you!

XOXO
Auntie T Says:
August 16th, 2009 at 6pm
{{{ANT}}}

Yay for Week 1! I know you have a long road ahead of you, but so far you are doing awesome! I am so proud of you!

I hope Week 2 is easier than Week 1 was.

{{{Shannon}}} Congrats to you on getting through your Week 1 on the new meds. I hope they are being kind to you and not making you feel too icky.

You’re both in my thoughts and prayers all day, every day.

Spa Girls, I hope you all have a great week!

{{{hugs}}}
Emjay Says:
August 16th, 2009 at 6pm
MAN!!!!!!!!!! WHERE HAVE I BEEN!?!?!?! I thought I posted here more than “barely”! HA!HA!HA!HA!

Now I am going to be lame and copy/paste from NBC which is partially copy/pasted from Facecrack…… cuz I am like that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
NICE! PIZZA!!!!!! I was gonna say,”you, cook?” HA!HA!HA! I know that you COULD cook if you wanted to cuz you are talented and, as they say on “Ratatoulle”, “Anyone can cook!”
I am glad you are in the living land too. )
What a GREAT BLOG!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ya know, I spent time today really appreciating the small, simple graces.
I am healthy enough to mow my yard.
I laughed out LOUD after I did my nose douche thingy thinking about how FUN it is and how much BETTER something so simple can make me feel! AND, I thought of Auntie T/T-bird who first got me to try it.
I was stupid/happy when I found that I did NOT finish 1/2 a can of diet coke that I thought I did.
A 40 calorie no-sugar-added fudgecicle tasted like heaven on a stick.An aquaintance, friend of my friend, brought me a sweet birthday gift today with thee best card. I am out of space. I am so proud of you ANT and so excited about your future!!! Emjay

P.S.
Here is what the cover of the card my “new friend” gave me said:

You drink… you cuss… you shop wiht a fury… you have questionable morals… you’re everything I’ve ever wanted in a friend

HA!HA!HA!HA!
Now. some of those are not true, but well, some are. )

She wrote inside that the card fits all 3 of us, (our mutual friend and us) and she talks about how we have saved her from overwhelming sadness this year (her best girlfriend died after years of cancer treatment). I am not used to being “friends” with women. A new chapter for me. I sorta think I love it! HA!HA!HA!
JPB Says:
August 16th, 2009 at 6pm
One Week!!!!!! I am sending you the biggest {{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}
Craig Says:
August 16th, 2009 at 6pm
((ANT))

A little song from the ‘universe’. ” I will give you everything.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxEFF2gsUKM
Emjay Says:
August 16th, 2009 at 7pm
HEIDIKINS!!!!!!!!!!!!
THANKS for the BIRTHDAY WISH!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Sorry I am so late in seeing it!
I had a GREAT birthday.

LOVE to ALL who enter da spa.

Peace, contentment, and massages all around!
Heidi Says:
August 17th, 2009 at 1pm
((( ANT))))) Day 7 just amazed me! I wanted to send u an email but I know how overwhelmed u must be so I am opting out of that…I wish I can be half as strong as u are to overcome my issues I’m going through..I guess the main reason for that is you believe in yourself…That’s huge! Then the strength to keep going on, I’m assuming get’s easier..YES the work is very hard but once u see your progress as it is happening , your whole persona changes..A new YOU has emerged and it’s beautiful to see/witness.

xoxox
Heidi Says:
August 17th, 2009 at 1pm
(( Emjay))) I’m glad u had a great day. xo

((( Craig))) I loved that! xo

((( T , JBP, Shannon, Lydia )))) xo
Heidi Says:
August 17th, 2009 at 3pm
I”m just sitting here finishing off my pizza to celebrate day 7 with you…And now I hear the ice-creme in the freezer calling out for day 8.. ANT you are going to make me gain weight! lol ugh….But I went to the gym today so it’s ok

Greece sounds wonderful , I am so happy for you that you can spend time with your family.

Loving you
xoxo
JPB Says:
August 17th, 2009 at 6pm
Eight Days and so many more Great Days to come!!!! I can’t wait to see the footage from Greece, I will need a vacation every night after work. And after running the girls to whatever activity of the evening it will be.

Heidi, I hear the ice cream all the way down here. It’s been so horribly humid that no one can keep from sweating even when just sitting.

Lydia, are the kids back in school already there? We go back next week, I start on Tuesday and the girls Thursday.

T – Is the boss back yet?

Shannon – Always sending strength and support your way.

Em Jay – Are you getting a chance to paint? I feel like flying you over here to paint my little one’s room. I have all the paint but just haven’t made the time. Maybe Christmas. I am painting the one wall to open into a forest Knoll with animals. Only, I’m cheating with the animals. I found a self adhesive wall decor that was on clearance. $5 or 500 hours trying to paint and repainting the imperfect animals????? No brainer there.

I have to go. Too much to get done this week.

Love to all
Auntie T Says:
August 17th, 2009 at 9pm
{{{ANT}}}

I”m sorry I’m so late today. For some reason I’ve been having problems posting here from work lately. DAY EIGHT!!! I love the number 8…and it looks great on you

I’m glad you’re back on meds and going to the meetings…and yay for moving from the bed to the couch Keep up the good work!

XOXOXO

JPB – My boss is still out for three more weeks.
Auntie T Says:
August 18th, 2009 at 6pm
{{{ANT}}}

You look great today! I’m glad you had your friends come over to throw out the garbage for you. It sounds like you’re doing all the right things.

XOXOXO

PS – I have the TV on, in the background while I’m working tonight, and I just heard a quote and thought of you…”Death leaves a heartache no one can heal, loves leaves a memory no one can steal.” You may have heard it before, but I’ve hadn’t.
Heidi Says:
August 19th, 2009 at 3pm
Day 10..Your body is telling you too much too soon..I”m glad your listening to it and staying cozy in bed. The first thing I noticed other than the face stubble ( which I luv) were your teeth! I was going ask if you whitened them..The last few days I have been trying the strips on my teeth..Ending it ASAP as they r making my teeth/gums extremely sensitive..Only used them twice 2 x a day… Next try..One of those Laser Lights..After wearing braces for 2.5 years I want them as white as yours!

xoxox
Heidi Says:
August 19th, 2009 at 3pm
Spa-Girls I miss you xo

Spa-Guy Craig xo
Auntie T Says:
August 19th, 2009 at 9pm
{{{ANT}}}

10:30pm…time to take a break from work and check in on you!

DAY TEN! WHOOO HOOOO! You’re awesome! I love that you’re listening to your body and sleeping and resting as much as possible!!! I wanna do that…I’m envious

I really hope you’re getting good sleeps with no strange dreams!

Keep up the good work…You’re my hero!

XOXOXO
Auntie T Says:
August 19th, 2009 at 9pm
{{Spa Client Girls}} Heidi, Shannon, Emjay, JPB and Lydia

{{Spa Masseur Guy}} Craig
Lydia (squirrel pie) Says:
August 20th, 2009 at 5am
man…you guys rock on the comments! I keep saying I’ll get here more often..then facebook gets me.
It doesn’t help that I chek email 1st when I get online. If there are facebook emails….I always click the link and off to facebook I go. Then I typicall forget about anything else until I run out of time:(

oh well…you ALL know I lurve ya. xxoo

ANT….again with the teeth! crack me up. “are my teeth really that white?” lol

LONG LIVE THE ANT COLONY
Lydia (squirrel pie) Says:
August 20th, 2009 at 5am
woo hooo!
Craig is our spa masseur guy?! kinky
JPB Says:
August 20th, 2009 at 7pm
Hello to all…. I am back from a quick little trip. I have a benefits meeting tomorrow for the job and start work on Tuesday. School starts Thursday next week. Here comes the grind. We will be busier then ever this year.

I’ll check in again.
Emjay Says:
August 20th, 2009 at 9pm
I LOVE DAY 11!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I love you ANT.
I love you Spaaaaalings.

I want to read all the new posts but can’t right now.
I WILL catch up later!

OH I am so happy that I had to peeeee so I dropped by my computer!
HURRaY for your great DAY ANT!!!!!!!!!!
Auntie T Says:
August 21st, 2009 at 6am
{{{ANT}}}

Good Morning and Happy Birthday Eve! I’m so happy you are going to the baby’s birthday party this weekend. And YAY for you braving the grocery store You’re welcome to do my grocery shopping any time you get the urge

I hope today is “dozen day!” (as Emjay called it).

There are many more perfect days ahead…remember that on the not so perfect days!

XOXOXO
Lydia (squirrel pie) Says:
August 21st, 2009 at 8am
happy Birthday baby Sophia…..and happy early birthday mr pANTs:)

so happy to see that you are feeling better. at least physically.

Happy Friday everyone.
love to you all.

XXOO
LONG LIVE THE ANT COLONY
JPB Says:
August 21st, 2009 at 6pm
Oh, baby Sophia is turning one already. Have a great time with your family.

Happy Birthday to you, happy birthday to you, happy birthday dear ANT, Happy birthday to you.

Your present from me is that you get to read my singing you happy birthday and you don’t have to suffer through listening to me sing it to you.

Oh what a glorious day Saturday will be!

xoxoxox
Emjay Says:
August 21st, 2009 at 6pm
HI all again!
Happy EveofdafabulousSophiaanduncleANTbirthdaycelebration!!!!!!
AND, happy Dozen day I hope!

I spent the day SOOOOOOO HUNGRY!
My LANTA! Some days maybe are just like that. It was 63 out and I had the windows open all day. I may have shivered off some energy!?! I am writing down the food I eat along with calories and carb counts. MOST days I can’t come close to my calorie limit and today I was STARVING no matter what. By 8 pm my stomach was growling and I had only around 300 calories left and ended up making popcorn on the stove. I maybe went a little over 300 cals, but whatEVER! HA!HA!HA! I think that perhaps I didnt’ get enough protein today. Tomorrow I had better find some!

ANYWAY! I am babbling …… shocker.

Twas the night before ANT’s Birthday and all through da spa,
not a colonist was stirring….. not even…. blah blah………

I am so blessed to know you people.
Thank you for being exactly who you all are.
Period.
Heidi Says:
August 22nd, 2009 at 4am
((( ANT )))) Happy Birthday…I have sad and happy tears today watching you…Just know that I love you and I am so proud of your strength and the love u have for your life, have a wonderful day..xoxoxo
Craig Says:
August 22nd, 2009 at 4am
((ANT)) Wishing you the very best birthday!
Emjay Says:
August 22nd, 2009 at 6am
I commented on myspace and NBC and on your facecrack wall so here I will just say:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY
I LOVE YOU!
ARE YOU UP YET!?!?!
GET UP!
GET UP!
IT’s yer BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!
I KNOW it is only 8 there but you have gifts to open and a partay to attend!
GET UP!!!!!!!!!!!
Jump out of bed! Slide down the firemans pole (pretend cuz I always did as a kid)! Turn on your fave cartoons…. or perhaps at this age some fun music! Have yourself your fave morning beverage and tear into some gifts! It’s time to be a kid again cuz it’s your BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!!!!!!

I EFFING ADORE YOU! HAVE for YEARS, WILL for YEARS to come!!!!!!!!
Auntie T Says:
August 22nd, 2009 at 8am
{{{ANT}}}

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!

I hope you have a wonderful time at the birthday party today!

XOXOXO
Emjay Says:
August 22nd, 2009 at 2pm
HEY! IT’s 3:30 in your world!
ARe ya eatin cake yet?
Is Sophia giggling?
Are you laffin yer ass off?
OHHHHHHHHHHHH I hope so!

I am apparently restless today.
I also am, at this very moment, drinking REALLY good off brand sugar free cranberry koolaid, and avoiding the pile of fabric I have on my diningroom table. I MUST cover these 8 pillows for my Amazon Blonde couches and recover my old couch cushions to be used as dog steps. MUST DO IT!
I don’t like sewing. It is wayyyyyyyyyy to precise for me. I love creating things but take issue with things that have rules I guess. Shouldn’t be to hard to cover square pillows and whip stitch the open edge, but man it seems like it will be.
How ’bout if I quit talkin about it and just go DO IT!!!!!!!!????!!!!!!!
Now there’s a concept!

I can smell dinner in the oven.
I dug up small red potatoes from the garden and am roasting them in the oven with porkchops covered in sour cream gravy. Salad or green beans and TaDA!!!!!!!! Something comforting about doing a balanced basic dinner.

Am I still here?

Boy, procrastinate is VERY easy when there’s a nifty internet around! HA!HA!HA!

Pillows!
MUST!
SEW!
PILLOWS!
Emjay Says:
August 22nd, 2009 at 2pm
Me again……….
WHY didn’t I type “too” in those 2 spaces instead of “to”.
ARGH!
JPB Says:
August 22nd, 2009 at 2pm
ANT, Happy Birthday again!!!!!! I hope Sophia’s first birthday party was a great time for all.

Emjay, procrastination queen? I love to sew, wish I was there and I could get it done for you. If I didn’t have to start work on Tuesday I might just fly out there and do it for you. It’s the comment of 63 degrees that is so tempting, that and helping you out, what a great way to spend a day.

I hope that everyone is having a nice weekend.
Lydia (squirrel pie) Says:
August 23rd, 2009 at 10am
Happy Birthday mr pANTs. I’m a day late with the greeting over here. Didn’t get on the puter once yesterday….to busy:(

Thank goodness you have decided to live, because I don’t have any plans on attending ANYONES funeral for a while. It’s not time for anyone to leave me. So, glad you changed your plans:)

Hope baby Sophia’s party was fun.
Did she enjoy the attention, or did it make her cry? YOu never know how a baby will react to all the people and balloons and cake:)

LONG LIVE THE ANT COLONY
oh..as for therapy. I look at it this way. We all need someone to talk to. if we talk to family and friends they interject personal opinions, or maybe it’s just stuff we don’t want them to know.
A therapist, we can tell anything to, and they just listen….they let us talk….we don’t hear, “I told you so, oryou know better then that, or what were you thinking, how could you?”
they are unbiased and helpful. I have learned that for me, the biggest part of healing, is just saying something. Just verbally saying how I feel about something and letting it out instead of hiding it, or trying to act like I feel like othres do. Just saying “this is how I feel about what happened” and suddenly I’m cured:)

xxoo
Emjay Says:
August 23rd, 2009 at 1pm
I am so happy you had a great BIrthday.
It was fun to watch a 2 part vid from you!
MAN! It’s been awhile since you had a long vid let alone a LOOOOOOOOOOONG vid. HA!HA!HA!
Love it.

I posted elsewhere so blah blah won’t copy paste.
Lyd (HI LYD!) brought up therapy.
Ya know. I have never had good luck with that.
When I went to counseling with my at-the-time fiance when I was in my 20s, he told me that my fiance cheating was my fault cuz I was fat.

I went to a few others for anxiety, and they said I was “cured” as soon as the insurance coverage ran out.
THe LAST guy I went to, around 10 years ago, only wanted to talk about my sex life and pulled me into a room off a hallway just to “tell me again” that men don’t care about things…. they just want to have sex with me.
OMG.
So.
I think I have had some bad luck with counseling. HA!HA!HA!
Now my therapy is babbling to YOU guys!
Bill me.
The check will be in the mail.

I LOVE YOU boogers!
Thanks ANT for having a GREAT day yesterday!
I know you didn’t have one for me, but you having one made me happy.
Lydia (squirrel pie) Says:
August 24th, 2009 at 4pm
that therapist was crazy Emjay.

I don’t have a ton of personal experience with therapists, but what I do has been good:)

Hope Monday was swell for everyone,
ANT,,,,travel safe.

xxoo
LONG LIVE THE ANT COLONY
Emjay Says:
August 25th, 2009 at 9am
HAppy Tuesday schmoozday everyone!

I have to publicly claim 28 pounds lost. I don’t want to do it on my facebook. Too many people there.
MAYBE there are TONS of people here too that just never post….. but whatever……. in my mind, it is just a small group of us.
My “official” weigh day is Friday (meaning that’s the day I mark it down) but I decided that if the scale says something GOOD for 2 days, I am claiming it as mine regardless of the day.
I have soooo very far to go. I have also been on this frackin road before.
Makes me nervous.
Makes me have a feeling of deja vu.
But I need this time to be different.
Have a different ending.
ANT.
Maybe you feel the same way about your struggle?
IDK.
Is it called “cautious optimism”???

Anyway.
I am grateful for today.
Grateful that our friend Elena said something to me about a CRAZY CONCEPT of counting 1,800 calories rather than again trying other diets that would SEEM easier. I have not just done basic calorie and carb counting forever. For me, it is much easier than doing “points” or avoiding some arbitrary foods that may not need be avoided by my own unique body.

Have a great show in IL ANT!!!!!!!
Sounds like colony people will be attending.
Neato Toledo.
Oh. That’s Ohio. Nevermind.
Emjay Says:
August 25th, 2009 at 3pm
NEW BLOG COMING! I can hear the patter of tiny little feet!

WELCOME to the COLONY Mr. GIRL!!!!!!!!!!!
I LOVE you and love that you LOVE ANT!
You 2 are going to do amazing things together!
I am truly GIDDY with excitement!
Lydia (squirrel pie) Says:
August 26th, 2009 at 7am
I’m glad the “diet is working for you Emjay. Counting calories works well for me too. I’m not good at all at staying away from foods l love, so I don’t even really try.
I have learned after a while though, that I start looking at my calories like I do money. I starts saying things like, “I’m not wasting 200 calories on those cookies when for the same number of calories I can have this blah blah blah”. Once you start paying attention like that, you kind of have a new outlook on what you want to eat and what you don’t. Some days you wont mind spending 200 calories for half a cookie cause that day you REALLY need that cookie…..and other days, you’d rather spend the 200 on an extra peice of lasagna at dinner or something.

Anyway…welcome Mr Girl. you are lovely.
our little dog Yeti snuggles like that. He is such a baby. He will sit at your feet, stretch up his front paws on your legs and just starting running them on your leg until you pick him up. It’s like he’s saying “momma, momma hold me, hold me” it’s so cute. Once you pick him up he loves to be held like a baby, or snuggled in against your face. I love it. I even call him the baby. Often times if I’m holding him and I need to do something, I’ll pass him off for someone else to hold. I’ll go to Thomas or Cathy or something and say “can you hold the baby for me, I have to go to the bathroom?” lol

hope you all enjoy your Wednesday. I’m happy the weekend is almost here:)

LONG LIVE THE ANT COLONY
Emjay Says:
August 29th, 2009 at 10am
Hi kids.
WHAT is WITH
DAYS of JOY And contentment followed by days of sorrow and angst!?!?!?
I had some great days this week and now last night and today I am just “UGH!”.
Is this normal?
IDK.
I have never been known to be normal.
I felt so lonely, overwhelmed, pitiful last night and it carried into today a bit.
So tired. So having a sense of overwhelm.
Next weekend is FINALLY labor day weekend and FINALLY the Blake will be coming home for a few days!!!!!!!!!! I believe I will have a huge list of things he has to help me do that I can’t do by myself….. like haul the old couches out of the garage, change the battery in the jeep cuz it keeps draining, etc. I don’t want him to come home to work but there are a few things that I just simply can’t do alone.
Spending this entire summer alone has been a new thing for me. We had been lucky the past few years. Well, lucky in that Blake has not had to live away for the past 3 years and commute…. other than last year there was no work but he was here. So having summer alone and now it is leaving I think has gotten to me. Anyone else ever get sorta melancholy and emotional when Autumn comes? I love this season, but it is so bittersweet.

Anyway.
My journal.
Have a great day.
Lydia (squirrel pie) Says:
August 30th, 2009 at 9am
sorry you are feeling blue Emjay. I love ya.

Happy Sunday colony.

LONG LIVE THE ANT COLONY
Emjay Says:
August 30th, 2009 at 11am
THanks Lyd. I love you too.

ANT, how are you? I am sending you much love and support and empathy and strength.

Now. If any of you are feeling like FREAKS……. just watch Bridezillas and you will see how absolutely sane and lovely you are.
WHAT is UP with these people!?!?!! People are really like this?
Oy Oy OY!!!!!!!!!!!!
Craig Says:
August 30th, 2009 at 6pm
Happy Sunday!
Lydia (squirrel pie) Says:
August 31st, 2009 at 8am
I’ll have to start DVRing that show Emjay mj for the nights I’m a football widow:)

Hey Craig….any word on when amazing race starts back up?

ANT….hope you are doing well.
xxoo

LONG LIVE THE ANT COLONY
Emjay Says:
August 31st, 2009 at 6pm
FLY BY KIDS!!!!!!!

WHERE is HEIDI!?!?!?
I only ask here cuz she is missing at NBC too.
WHERE is ANT!?
He too is a bit MIA.
I will not fret.
I have faith.
ANT is well.

And, just in case……. ANT, if you are NOT well…… don’t hide ok?
It’s all going to be ok. Shine. Do. Become. Repeat.
And
Laugh.
Love.
Live.
Reach out.
Accept.
Trust.
Breathe.

Lyd. Amazing Race. One of my faves. Still my fave winners of all time were the groove hippy guys. Once a show is over I rarely ponder what ever happened to…. but those guys come to my mind more than normal.

It’s the end of a Monday.
Spent 5 hours cleaning my new-to-me car with a toothbrush, Q-tips, paper towels, shop vac, etc. THe damn thing was not even dirty, but yet I wanted to clean every inch as a gift to Blake. I wanted to have a pro do it, but they are not taking cars right now. Wacky.
I “didn’t hate it” enough that I may even offer to do that for my dad’s 80th birthday gift to him. If this glorious weather holds out it will kinda be fun and am not sure what else to buy a man who has everything.

Well………
that’s it for tonight I guess.
I am hoping the Cali-fires will be controlled soon, along with the heat there. I am not sure how I would handle the threat of fires or floods. Tornadoes and blizzards are spooky enough I think.

LOVE to you all.
Emjay Mj
Lydia (squirrel pie) Says:
September 1st, 2009 at 7am

LONG LIVE THE ANT COLONY
Emjay Says:
September 1st, 2009 at 7pm
Nope! It’s a kissing chick on facebook chat.

Oh well.
Have a great trip ANT.
I got the heebies when you said you are flying home Sept 11th but it will be fine. Probably theeeee safest day to travel dontcha think?!

All the shit I have been lookin to have happen in Sept is happening soonish so that is sorta surreal.
As Lydsville says, LLTAC!!!!!!!!!! THe more I think about the colony, the more I wish you all could just come over for a weekend at my house in a few weeks. End o summer bash. Harvest festival of love.
Heidi Says:
September 3rd, 2009 at 12pm
((( ANT ))) even though I have been MIA just wanted you to know there has not been a day that I haven’t thought about you..I am so proud of you and your new family member…What a gift to both of you to have eachother now. Enjoy some family time in Greece. xo

Emjay thankyou for your concern.. I am just dealing with so much and to be honest not dealing with it very well as I keep things all to myself becomes overwhelming which brings me way down and hard for me to get back up.

That’s it for now..Hope everyone is well.
Lydia (squirrel pie) Says:
September 9th, 2009 at 4pm
Emjay…I would so love to come over. I need cool fun neighbors. We dont’ have any fun to hang out with neighbors…they are all nice…,but boring. you should be my neighbor Emjay Mj:)

ANT….thanks for the 48 second look at life in Greece:) Glad you are happy and well.

Heidi….big hugs girl.

Craig…..it’s almost race time. I look forward to our weekly chat session.

LONG LIVE THE ANT COLONY
Emjay Says:
September 11th, 2009 at 3pm
HI HEIDI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I hope you find your way out of your “stuff”. I do believe I understand.
I send you much much MUCH LOVE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Lyds. I’m a pretty good neighbor. I am soooo happy that my neighbor 3 houses down has turned out to be my best friend in the past few years. Not sure why it took us so long actually. YOU would be a fun neighbor! I would even let yer kids take fruit off my trees! HA!HA!HA!

I am NOT going to worry about the results of my doc visit today.
She thinks my “yonder” problem is maybe a fistula not my bartholins gland. I wish it were just the gland. BUT! I am going on antibiotics for 10 days (damnit.) and then checkin with her again…… then probably off to a surgeon. WHATEVER!!!!!!!!! I rebuke fear. I have no time for it.

I officially claim 33 pounds gone today.
Loooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooong way to go, but so far, the easiest and “most calm” way I have ever lost weight. Last night I had fried chicken and ribs. Crazy. Today I had fast food tacos for lunch. Most of the time I don’t do that but I can so it is fun!

Blake’s daughter can’t come next weekend. Her dad had an anurism in his brain last month and he is still recovering and they are moving him next weekend. We will see them after Blake moves back home, I am over whatever this funky thang is that I have, and her dad is better recovered.

Honestly? I am grateful for more time to get the house ready.
With my health stuff and Blake not being home, I was on total overwhelm trying to get ready for them coming to stay for 3 days.

ANT!!!!!!! You traveling today yes? I hope you have a comfy seat, great airline staff, nice people around you, and of course, safe travels. Greece always look like a truly magical place to me. Surreal in it’s beauty. I always see scenes from it that make me imagine angels walking the streets.
JPB Says:
September 11th, 2009 at 5pm
Just stopping in to check up on everyone. I have been so busy, the new job is exhausting – mentally and physically. But I work with a really great group of people.

EmJay – Great news on the 33 pounds!!!! keep up the fabulous work.

Lydia – I bet you are a real hoot as a neighbor. I need some really fun neighbors too. How are the kids and Cathy?

Craig – Nice to see you around.

Heidi – I am always thinking about you. Sending you extra love.

ANT – safe travels home

Well it’s official, my oldest has ADHD and it’s not been my imagination all these years. Now I have to get the Pediatrician to put her on medication and hope it doesn’t take forever to find the right med and dosage.

I will try to stop in on a regular basis. I miss you all.

Love and Hugs!
Emjay Says:
September 13th, 2009 at 3pm
Just stopping by on this Sunday.
I am having a case of the lonelies.
Damn I don’t like them.
I spend too much time isolated pondering life.
What is it about Sunday’s that seem to magnify a lonely feeling?

Your “Life” vid made me feel wonderful today ANT. I am thinkin I had better watch it again. )
Lydia (squirrel pie) Says:
September 14th, 2009 at 8am
Happy Anniversary to Emjay and The Blake.

Happy Monday to the rest of you.

love ya mr pANTs

LONG LIVE THE ANT COLONY
Emjay Says:
September 15th, 2009 at 2pm
HI LYDS!!!!!!!

Thanks for the wish!

I am in slight disbelief that The Blake may be moving home this weekend. I won’t believe it till it happens.

How is our ANT anyway?
Groovy and gorgeous as ever I spose.

How is everyone else? JPB I am always so happy to see you around. I miss you very much.
Ami ANT Says:
September 16th, 2009 at 9am
Just dropping in to say hello.

Lots of life changes in my world – hopefully for the better.

Just like all other colony members (I’m sure), although I haven’t posted in forever, you are all with me in spirit daily. See what you’ve created ANT? A family.

ANT, you are in my thoughts and prayers, sending you strength for a steady recovery. You are an inspiration to many.

xo
Ami ANT
Jennifer - JPB Says:
September 17th, 2009 at 7pm
Oh look our dear Ami ANT !!!!!!!!!!!{{{{{{{HUG}}}}}}}} I miss you so much.

It looks as though so many of us have had major changes in our lives this year.

Emjay – I am hoping you see the Blake move back this weekend. Positive thoughts do wonders. My job leaves me physically and mentally exhausted every day and then I still need to take care of and run my two. I really am begining to see that I am a glutton for punishment.

Sending love and hugs out to dear Heidi.

Lyd and all the rest I wish plenty of sunshine and good things and of course hugs and love.
Lydia (squirrel pie) Says:
September 19th, 2009 at 10am
hoping for a lazy saturday at my house today. so far so good:)

hope the rest of you enjoy your weekend too.

LONG LIVE THE ANT COLONY
Emjay Says:
September 22nd, 2009 at 7am
Not sure how it got to be Tuesday already but somehow it is! Blake moved home and has truly messed with my normal routine. It went from mid 80s here last week to cold and dreary probably mid 50s and rainy.
Had a nice, simple, fun 80th birthday partay for my dad Sunday and it was wonderful. Yesterday Blake and I went to the casino for a late Anniversary dinner. Free King Crab buffet. I have to say I would be quite scared if a king crab walked up to me. They must truly be HUGE when they are all put together! HA!HA!HA!

SUDDENLY it is Tuesday.
I have a doc appt Friday to try again to determine what the flock is wrong with me and to try and figure out which surgeon I should be sent to. Ugh.

I hope you are all having a good Tuesday! I am working on a funeral print job and then I need to do something else productive today, though most of the things that need doing are outside and it is cold and rainy. No sense schleppin around in mud to pick tomatoes. )

Love, Emjay Mj )
Lydia (squirrel pie) Says:
September 25th, 2009 at 8am
love you Emjay Mj

it made me happy to see you sign your post that way:)

hi everyone else.
xo

LONG LIVE THE ANT COLONY
Craig Says:
September 27th, 2009 at 8pm
AmiANT mentioned Autumn at the NBC blog…I thought it was a good topic.

I love Autumn.

Spring and Autumn are the best times of year for me. With Autumn everything changes so quickly. The trees turns wonderous colours.

The air in fall seems to carry me. During the summer I feel like I am being pushed around by the heat. It presses against me and almost bullies me for two months.

The air during Fall seems to want to lift me up. It nips playfully at my skin and air overall feels fresher. During Autumn you can layer your clothing to get warm and strip away what you don’t need when the weather warms up.

That’s why I love Autumn. It is so diverse.
Lydia (squirrel pie) Says:
October 4th, 2009 at 10am

LONG LIVE THE ANT COLONY